TOP 10 MOST IMPROBABLE UPSETS IN MOVIE HISTORY

10. Happy Gilmore defeats Shooter McGavin
Happy Gilmore
Sure Gilmore’s monster drives and ever-improving short game are enough to land him on the first page of any leader board, but who would have thought the rookie golfer could win the Tour Championship and its coveted Gold Jacket only hours after being hit by a Volkswagen Bug? Certainly not McGavin, who once scoffed at the young upstart, “I eat pieces of (stuff) like you for breakfast.”


9. The ESU Timber Wolves get a bowl bid
The Program
Let’s see: QB Joe Kane spends 4 weeks in rehab; his back-up Bobby Collins gets busted for cheating on a test; Defensive All-American Alvin Mack can’t read; and psycho Steve Lattimer gets ‘roided up and chucks a co-ed through a wall. Thank goodness no one was given an off-campus job; otherwise the NCAA would have had to shut this program down.


8. Webb/Czervik defeat Smails/Beeper
Caddyshack
Since Dr. Beeper was club champion three years running and Judge Smails was no slouch himself, they were obviously the heavy favorite. It took a fluke injury to Al Czervik and an amazing performance by his young substitute Danny Noonan to overcome not only their ostentatious opponents, but Ty Webb’s inexplicable (and still ongoing) collapse, as well. As for the post-match celebration, a grateful Czervik made sure everybody got, uh, a fun experience.


7. Mean Machine defeats The Guards
The Longest Yard
But technically it was The Inmates defeating Mean Machine (you know, because the Inmates stole the equipment and uniforms from the Guards). Doesn’t this bother anyone else?


6. Smoky et al. defeat The Dude, Walter and Donny (forfeit)
The Big Lebowski
Easily the most controversial upset on the list. Early on in a league bowling match, Smoky stepped over the line, so naturally Walter called him on it – and then brandished his gun. Rather than enter a “world of pain,” Smoky marked the frame a zero, but he later lodged a formal protest with the league office, resulting in the unprecedented forfeit.


5. New York Knights win the pennant
The Natural
Aging ballplayer Roy Hobbes comes from out of nowhere to blast eye-popping homeruns? Sure, that makes sense. But his team actually winning something?! That could only happen in Hollywood.


4. Frank the Tank defeats James Carville
Old School
Hey, if poker is a sport, so is debate. And Frank unloaded such a mortar of public funding knowledge on Carville that the Rajun’ Cajun could not even muster a response. Not bad for a guy hopped up on cheap beer and donkey tranquilizer. Said the elated winner, “That’s the way you do it! That’s the way you debate!”


3. Billy Madison defeats Eric Gordon
Billy Madison
And if debate is a sport, so is Academic Decathlon. For those of you who doubt the magnitude of a semi-literate drunk (whose previous competitive experience consisted of dueling shampoo/conditioner bottles and racing ketchup-smeared pickles down a pane of glass) upsetting a Harvard-educated track star, then I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.


2. Ted Stroehmann defeats Brett Favre
There’s Something About Mary
Not a sports movie, but a stunning upset nonetheless. How else can you describe the amazing Mary going for a goofy underemployed writer (let alone one who let her use the worst hair gel ever) over a Super Bowl winning quarterback? Home field advantage must have helped. Stroehmann is lucky Favre was just in town to play the Dolphins – you dumbass.


1. Cleveland Indians eliminate the New York Yankees
Major League
Clue Haywood may have led the league in most offensive categories (including nose hair), but the MVP came up short when it counted against the young fireballer Rick Vaughn. The circumstances of this upset are so spectacular it could NEVER repeat itself. Right?