SILVERCUP STUDIOS, QUEENS, NY – DAY

Mets Manager Willie Randolph sits in a plush chair dressed in a smoking jacket. A bottle of champagne chills in a bucket of ice next to him.

WILLIE: Hi, I’m Willie Randolph. Over the last week or so you’ve probably seen a lot of champagne sprayed around in winning clubhouses. It’s true that nothing punctuates a title quite like an eyeful of Dom Perignon or Cristal. But what about when you’re faced with the indignity of collapse?

Willie holds up the bottle.

WILLIE: I drink Le’ Choke. Because when you work hard all year only to flush it down the toilet in the end, you need the booze that doesn’t mind when you lose.

Willie takes a big sip.

WILLIE: Ah. That is sweet. But don’t take my word for it.

Willie walks across the set to Tom Glavine, who is enjoying a glass of his own.

WILLIE: What do you say Tom Glavine?

Glavine tries to speak but he hasn’t swallowed his champagne yet.

He chokes and coughs uncontrollably.

WILLIE: Tommy?

Glavine tries to compose himself, but can’t. The choking continues.

WILLIE: That’s alright. Shake it off Tommy.

Willie smiles confidently.

WILLIE: Hey Lastings Milledge, tell the people why Le’ Choke is a superior product.

Lastings Milledge cartwheels his way over to Willie. He high-fives him and dances around.

WILLIE: Alright, Lastings, come on, we’ve got work to do.

Milledge will not let up. His obnoxious, inappropriate, premature celebration continues.

WILLIE: Oh well.

Willie takes another big gulp as a group of choking Mets wander in behind him.

WILLIE: Mmm. I’ve been waiting a long time for that. Remember, when you need the sparkling wine that makes collapse taste just fine: it’s Le’ Choke. And don’t forget about Le’ Choke Playofe….right Alex?

Across the studio, a pinstriped Alex Rodriguez flashes a smile and gives a “What me, worry?” shrug.