(...back)

You are on your way to your very first Olympic Games! You are so excited that you can barely sit still on the team bus as it approaches the airport. Luckily, there is a mini-trampoline nearby.

As you bounce and chat with your new teammates, you ask a question that has heretofore slipped your mind.

“Where are the Olympics this year anyway?”

The veterans can’t help but chuckle at your ignorance. Your embarrassment turns to anger when they give you the answer: China.

What?! It’s bad enough that you are in cahoots with the companies that destroyed your hometown, but now you are expected to compete in the very nation reaping all of the ill-gotten gains?

“I can’t go to China,” you protest.

Your teammates support you with knowing nods.

“I know, it’s tough,” says one. “I mean, come on. What about Tibet and Darfur, right?”

You have no idea what they are talking about.

“Don’t you watch the news? They’re like the biggest story.”

Oh, of course! Tibet and Darfur. They were the talk of CNN last night.

“But what do Brad and Angelina’s twins have to do with China?” you ask.

After the laughter dies down, your teammates set you straight and fill you in on all the disturbing details. They also tell you that some of them are going to skip the Opening Ceremonies in protest.

That seems kind of hollow to you, but they assure you it will be meaningful.


If you choose to show the world how committed you are to your politics, which you just discovered five minutes ago, click here