By: Patrick Irving
6/27/2008

The day after George Carlin died of a heart attack, Don Imus was administered an unwarranted shot of adrenaline. What a sad reminder of the crevasse between who we could be and what we really are.

This is not a commentary on taste but of expectations and effort. Carlin believed we could be better. He challenged his audience to evaluate every decision, and dared them to laugh at their most precious beliefs. He could do this – with great success – because he was smart and original, and, most of all, he was funny.

In lesser hands his material would have come off as pompous and bitter – or worse – preachy. But luckily for us, Carlin had as much work ethic as he had talent. He was a dedicated innovator and a tireless performer. He was a perfectionist. You could hear it in the flawless rhythm of his complex soliloquies. George Carlin respected himself and the public too much to ever give anything less than his best.

Unfortunately, that attitude is scarce. Our excess capacity for media and entertainment all but dooms us to that fate. When Carlin started out there weren’t thousands of comedy clubs peppered throughout the country. Comedians like himself and Richard Pryor and Steve Martin had to earn their way onto a stage. Today you just have to be willing to wait in line for five minutes.

This glut of capacity has allowed – no, encouraged – countless mildly talented fame-seekers to subject us to never ending bits on how bitchy their girlfriends are and why white people can’t dance. Of course, there are many terrific comedians working today, but the sheer volume of the lowest common denominator skews the entire equation. Everything clusters in the middle and thanks to a diluted talent pool the middle has never been lower.

But, hey, someone has to fill those timeslots – particularly on the radio.

Don Imus is not a comedian by trade, and he is expected to fill several hours of airtime a day, so, in his defense; he may only have so much originality to go around. That is usually not a problem, though, because for most people talk radio is just background noise on the drive from Point A to Point B. A well-placed zinger from time to time is all that is required to keep listeners coming back. So, for Don Imus, there’s no incentive to provoke thought – just to provoke.

The same is true for most other entertainers or writers or anyone struggling to get noticed in today’s crowded marketplace. Your odds are much better if you just do what everyone else is doing – but do it louder. Otherwise you’ll be doomed to anonymity.

Even a notable personality like Imus gets fewer weekly listeners than there are residents in Kentucky. Most Americans don’t even realize he exists until he says something racially insensitive. But many of us have cranky grandfathers and drunken uncles who manage this feat on a daily basis. So, why is it news when this particular old man sticks his jackboot in his mouth? For the same reason he makes the comments to begin with: it’s easy.

It’s easy to make wisecracks (trust me). It’s easy to riff on the scandal du jour and harp on the foibles of those in the spotlight. And it’s easy to sit back waiting for someone – anyone – to slip up.

But are our collective expectations for entertainment really that low? Okay, fine.

But are our expectations for the national agenda really that low?

Why does Al Sharpton give a flying fig about Don Imus? Why isn’t he…hmm, let’s see…permanently camped out in New Orleans? Couldn’t he do some real good down there? Aren’t we in the midst of a national housing crisis? Don’t people losing their homes need a little help? Why isn’t he at least picketing gas stations for crying out loud?

Because coordinating a real effort to address real problems is hard – and it provides no guarantee of free airtime (even if there are 800 channels stuck with hours of unwatchable programming). No, it’s much easier to cherry pick from the withered limbs of Don freakin’ Imus. Way to go Al!

Don Imus is a story because our entertainment is lazy. Our journalism is lazy. Our activism is lazy. And our collective response is lazy – present company included.

This essay isn’t original. A virtual carbon copy of it was probably written by someone else just this week. Most of us often fall short of original – and thoughtful. When it comes down to it, everything has been said; every pop culture reference has been dropped; every snarky comment has been cracked; every pejorative nickname has been coined.

The question is: Do people not realize that or do they just not care?

Stupid and crass can be funny – very funny – but let’s hope everyone is at least laughing at and not with this week’s hip-hop stylings of Shaquille “Kobe, Tell Me How My Ass Tastes” O’Neil. The only thing more pathetic than his rhyming effort was ESPN’s never ending coverage of it. We’re devolving into a parody of ourselves.

Let’s face it, we’re Bush league. Literally. Our Commander in Chief has less savvy than Nuke LaLoosh (well, I guess there’s one original, snarky pop-culture reference remaining after all).

And we elected him to a second term! Why? Because he wears a flag pin?

Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

But wearing a flag pin or slapping Old Glory on your rear bumper isn’t patriotic if that bumper is attached to a full-size pick-up truck that gets ten miles to the gallon. Where do you think that gas money is going?

But we don’t want to hear that. It’s easier to threaten to put a boot in someone’s ass. Or worse. (Osama, tell me how my ass tastes?)

I know this all sounds pompous and not wistful; bitter and not funny; preachy and not insightful.

I know I’m no George Carlin – but at least I’m trying.

FADE OUT:

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