By: Patrick Irving
6/14/2008

To paraphrase Chris Rock: Mama gets flowers. Mama gets songs written about her. Mama gets the shout outs on TV. And what does daddy get for all his hard work?! The big piece of chicken.

That inequity ends today…

YO MAMA DADDY – FATHER’S DAY EDITION

Directions: Get together with your favorite sibling and volley some of these back and forth (Note: make sure the old man is within earshot).


Yo daddy so strong, he can tow Magnus ver Magnuson over 100 yards

Yo daddy so strong, he’s on the menu at Starbucks

Yo daddy so strong, he reeks of spinach and Olive Oyl

Yo daddy so strong, he can lift the hopes of Kansas City Royals fans



Yo daddy so wise, Dear Abby writes to him

Yo daddy so wise, all he says is “who”

Yo daddy so wise, he never compared Kobe with Jordan

Yo daddy so wise, he’s exiled from Tibet

Yo daddy so wise, he narrates Morgan Freeman’s life

Yo daddy so wise, he shows up to every party with gold, frankincense and myrrh



Yo daddy so influential, Hillary bought him a shot of Crown Royal

Yo daddy so influential, he got Jason Giambi’s mustache a two-year extension

Yo daddy so influential, college kids wear t-shirts of him wearing a t-shirt of Che Guevara

Yo daddy so influential, Cedric Benson tried to drive under him

Yo daddy so influential, he got R. Kelly a gig at a middle school (just to prove he could do it – don’t worry, he then cancelled it immediately)



Yo daddy so handy, Bob Vila’s wife sends him love letters

Yo daddy so handy, John McCain hired him to build a sturdy platform

Yo daddy so handy, he built Rome…in a day…on nothing but rock and roll

Yo daddy so handy, he’s worshipped by Hindus

Yo daddy so handy, he’s fixed more plumbing than Flomax

Yo daddy so handy, he could restore Roger Clemens’ reputation (but he won’t)



Yo daddy so tough, he’s on the menu at Ponderosa

Yo daddy so tough, Barack chose him to tell Hillary that she’s not his running mate

Yo daddy so tough, Chuck Norris wrote a joke book about HIM

Yo daddy so tough, when Marshawn Lynch hit him with his SUV, he popped right up

Yo daddy so tough, he stopped Kevin Johnson from showing up for that R. Kelly middle school gig



Yo daddy so generous, his gas is always cheap and plentiful

Yo daddy so generous, unlike the airlines, he always offers to check bags for free

Yo daddy so generous, he gave Stephen A. Smith a headache

Yo daddy so generous, he presented a giant check to Ed McMahon…hi-yo!


Yo daddy so generous, he doesn’t want anything from you…but would it kill you to call more often?

FADE OUT:

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