BADA BING!, ROUTE 17, NJ – DAY

Tony Soprano sits at the head of the long table in the strip club’s back room / makeshift office. He offers up a paper plate of bialys to his guests.

To his left, Gene Upshaw raises his hand – he’s fine. To his right, Joe DeLamielleure shakes his head.

DELAMIELLEURE: No thank you.

Tony shrugs as he takes a bite out of one. Standing by, Paulie Walnuts and Silvio Dante nod approvingly. Nice, T.

TONY: So, the two of…

Coach Mangini steps in and grabs a bialy.

MANGINI: Excuse me.

Tony just stares disapprovingly. Mangini retreats to the fringes with his snack. Paulie elbows Sil in disbelief at the Coach’s lack of respect. Sil shrugs. Whadda ya gonna do?

TONY: So, the two of you got a beef over this pension thing.

DELAMIELLEURE: Right.

UPSHAW: Actually, my problem is with the unwarranted barrage of criticism that he and his people have been slandering me with in the papers about the way that I…

Tony raises his hands and cocks his head with an annoyed smile.

TONY: So that would qualify it as pension related.

UPSHAW: Okay.

TONY: Okay. So let’s talk about a solution.

DELAMIELLEURE: Gene hasn’t done nearly enough for the guys who played in the League’s early days. It’s a disgrace.

UPSHAW: My responsibility is to the active players…

DeLamielleure kicks his head back and groans in exasperation.

TONY: See, that’s your problem right there. You two got one of those, uh, come on, a, uh…

He looks to his guys for an assist.

PAULIE: Difference of opinion.

Tony crinkles his nose in disgust.

PAULIE: What? They do.

TONY: No, come on. They got a, uh…

SIL: They’re caught up on one of them general disconnections.

TONY: Exactly.

PAULIE: That’s what I said T.

TONY: Irregardless. What you two got is a case of fighting against each other, but you’re fighting about different things. You want more money for the old timers and you say that isn’t your job to decide that.

MANGINI: We already knew all this.

PAULIE and SIL: Ohhhhhhh!!!

TONY: It’s alright. It’s alright. Coach, thanks for setting this thing up. Now, why don’t you let Paulie introduce you to a couple of the girls.

MANGINI: Really?

PAULIE: Yeah, come on. I’ll show you a girl who can tell you how Alex Rodriguez really got his nickname. Heh-heh. Did you hear that T? I said, I’ll show him a girl can tell you how Alex Rodriguez really got his nickname.

TONY: I heard.

PAULIE: Heh-heh. Come on Coach.

Paulie and Mangini exit.

Upshaw rises from his seat.

UPSHAW: Mr. Soprano, I appreciate your expertise in matters like this, but to be honest with you, I don’t need to listen to anything this man has to say.

SIL: Why don’t you do us all a favor and sit down.

Upshaw looks at Sil and then Tony and then back to Sil.

SIL: It would be best for everybody.

Upshaw takes his seat.

TONY: Look, I’m gonna be honest with you. I don’t give a damn what’s getting’ paid out to who. I mean, yes, on a personal level, it’s probably a little f----ed up that some of these old timers have to live like paupers. But, hey, it’s a business. I know how that goes.

Sil nods in agreement.

TONY: But what I can’t have is you two sniping at each other’s ankles and making ridiculous threats. It’s bad for business.

DELAMIELLEURE: How is that bad for your business?

Tony scratches his head.

SIL: Certain aspects of our thing here require the public to have a certain trust that everything is, ah, on the up and up with your league.

UPSHAW: Oh, you mean illegal gamb…

TONY: Let’s just say we’re big football fans and we’re tired of reading about players and coaches and officials acting like criminals. It’s embarrassing.

SIL: That too.

UPSHAW: So…?

TONY: So, get it together, otherwise some friends of ours from some other locals may have to, ah, help you right the ship.

SIL: You don’t want that.

DELAMIELLEURE: I knew it!