| By:
Patrick Irving
5/11/2007
Roger Clemens stirred up controversy this week when he signed with the New York Yankees for a whopping prorated salary of $28 million. But criticism of the contract doesn’t dwell on the fat payday so much as the mercenary tendencies and prima donna demands it is said to reward. The flame throwing right-hander is feeling the heat for leaving his hometown Astros for the greener pastures of the Bronx, while maintaining his special contract clauses, which allow him to get his off-day work in wherever he chooses; avoid any unnecessary team functions (like pesky road trips); and pretty much come and go as he pleases. You would think the guy who once threw a splintered bat at Mike Piazza – and then justified it by claiming he thought it was the ball – would get the benefit of the doubt, right?
Well, none of that stuff matters back at his home – which is what he really cares about anyway. Roger will return from his big New York tour and Kentucky training session any time now, and his family can’t wait. It’s no secret that his wife loves him and his four boys idolize him…
CLEMENS RESIDENCE, HOUSTON, TX – DAY
The morning sun shines into the large, state-of-the-art kitchen in an upscale, but inviting house. Debbie Clemens hastily puts the finishing touches on some sandwiches. She wraps them up and throws them in the awaiting paper lunch sacks.
DEBBIE: Boys, are you almost ready?
No response. She rolls her eyes and grumbles.
DEBBIE: Come on, you’re gonna be late.
She trots from the kitchen into the adjoining living room, picking up a random sock and baseball mitt along the way.
DEBBIE: What have I told you about leaving your things lying around?
She reaches her two youngest sons, Kacy (Age 12) and Kody (11).
KACY: Sorry mom.
KODY: Yeah, sorry mom.
Debbie’s eyes go wide.
DEBBIE: What on Earth are you doing?!
KACY: Homework.
Kacy is dissecting a frog on the coffee table.
DEBBIE: You have a dead frog splayed out on my good table!
Kody is giggling away.
KACY: I’ve got to get my work in mom. You know that.
DEBBIE: Yes, but shouldn’t it be done at school with your classmates?
KACY: I can do it just as easily here.
Kody is cackling now. The phone is ringing.
DEBBIE: Alright, Kody, show’s over. Go brush your teeth. You need to be out the door five minutes ago. You can’t be late for school again.
The phone is still ringing. Debbie yells up the stairs.
DEBBIE: Kory, will you get that please?
No response from up there.
KODY: But I get too tired going to school for the full day.
DEBBIE: Don’t start that again.
KODY: I do better in 8th period math when I skip 1st period history. Mom, come on, you know that. Don’t you think it’s more important that I do well in math?
DEBBIE: I’d like you to do well in both…
The phone is still ringing!
DEBBIE: Kory, please answer the phone!
KORY (off-screen): I’m busy.
Debbie trots across the room to the phone as she points at Kacy.
DEBBIE: My living room is not the place to dissect a frog, young man. You should know better.
KACY: But I’m getting an “A” in this class.
DEBBIE: That is not the point.
She answers the phone.
DEBBIE: Hello. Yeah, just a minute.
She huffs as she yells in a sing-song voice.
DEBBIE: Kory, it’s for you.
KORY (off-screen): I got it.
She hangs up with a smile.
DEBBIE: Of course you do.
KODY: It’s probably his new girlfriend.
DEBBIE: Well, I can’t keep track. They’re all calling day and night. I wish he’d have just stayed with that nice girl down the street.
KACY: I liked her, too.
KODY: Well, she doesn’t like big nerds!
With that, Kacy chucks a frog heart at Kody.
KODY: Ew! Mom!
DEBBIE: Kacy Clemens! You do not throw frog hearts at your brother!
KACY: Oh, sorry. I thought it was the liver.
DEBBIE: Well, why would that be…?! Forget it. Kody, upstairs and brush those teeth. Hurry. Kacy, get this thing cleaned up pronto. We have exactly three minutes until…
The phone rings.
DEBBIE: Ugh!
She grabs it.
DEBBIE: Kory’s answering service…oh sorry Koby…hi honey, how are you? No, your father’s not here yet. He’ll be back later tonight.
Kory (18) storms down the stairs in a huff.
KORY: I’m not going to school!
DEBBIE: Oh brother. Koby, I’ll call you later alright? Bye-bye.
She hangs up the phone.
DEBBIE: What’s the matter now?
KORY: This girl is nuts. I told her we weren’t serious, but now she’s going all psycho on me because I’m going to prom with Brianna.
DEBBIE: Well why the change of heart?
KORY: Because her best friend is going with my buddy Andy and now we can double date.
Debbie shrugs.
KORY: And she has a sweet Bentley.
DEBBIE: Alright, well, do what you gotta do. But right now you have to get to school.
He smiles as he rolls his eyes and heads for the door.
DEBBIE: And don’t forget dinner tonight.
KORY: I’m just gonna grab something at the mall.
DEBBIE: No, we’re all eating dinner tonight as a family.
KORY: Why?!
DEBBIE: Because, it’s important for us to spend a little time together…
KORY: But if I’m eating something somewhere, then what’s the difference?
Kacy and Kody practically throw each other down the stairs as they tussle on their way out to the car.
DEBBIE: Let’s just talk about it later.
KORY: Mom!
DEBBIE: Please.
Kory rolls his eyes as Kacy and Kody continue to scrap.
DEBBIE: Boys, please! We have to go. Come on.
KACY: Mom, is Dad coming home tonight?
DEBBIE: Yes, I told you.
KODY: Sweet. Don’t you miss him?
DEBBIE: Yes. Of course I do. Although sometimes it seems like he never left.
HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!!!
FADE OUT: |
