TREE LINED NEIGHBORHOOD, YOURTOWN, USA – NIGHT

The normally tranquil residential street is mired in chaos. The big house on the corner is engulfed in flames. Hundreds of nervous Spectators crowd around, anxious for a solution.

Fire Chief Jurno rubs his brushy salt and pepper mustache with concern. A soot-ridden firefighter rushes up to him.

FIREFIGHTER: I don’t think we can stop the blaze from destroying that house Chief. It looks like the best we can do is contain it.

CHIEF JURNO: Damn this day.

Chief Jurno takes a long drag off his stubby cigar. A Little Old Lady in her bathrobe runs up to them in terror.

LITTLE OLD LADY: Do something, please! My cat is still in the house.

CHIEF JURNO: My God.

Meanwhile, the Spectators grow more anxious.

SPECTATOR 1: Who will save our houses?

SPECTATOR 2: Who will save Mr. Whiskers?

Right on cue, a voice booms behind them.

VOICE: You have nothing to fear, the Team Players are here!

The Spectators turn to see two of their beloved Team Players: Mr. Intangible and his sidekick Kid Upside. Mr. Intangible is cut and bruised, and his uniform and cape are covered in dirt. Kid Upside is eight years old.

SPECTATOR 1: Mr. Intangible!

SPECTATOR 2: And Kid Upside!

MR. INTANGIBLE: That’s right, safety fans. We’re here to save the day.

The Chief storms over to them.

CHIEF JURNO: What the hell took so long? That house is burning right before our eyes.

MR. INTANGIBLE: Sorry Chief. We got held up downtown.

CHIEF JURNO: Traffic?

MR. INTANGIBLE: No, we were literally held up.

KID UPSIDE: At gunpoint.

MR. INTANGIBLE: The Kid tried to use his super strength but…well…you know…

CHIEF JURNO: Yeah, it’s just not there yet.

MR. INTANGIBLE: But someday.

CHIEF JURNO: Oh, heck yes. Sure. Someday he’ll be the strongest crime fighter in town.

Kid Upside smiles wide.

SPECTATOR 1: Hey, are you guys gonna put that fire out or what?

KID UPSIDE: Holy flaming house Mr. Intangible!

MR. INTANGIBLE: Let’s get to work Kid.

Our heroes run off to fight the blaze as the Spectators cheer them on. Chief Jurno reassures his weary men.

CHIEF JURNO: Don’t worry. The Team Players will fix everything.

The firefighters are not so sure. Meanwhile, disgruntled murmurs work their way through the throng of Spectators.

CHIEF JURNO: Hey, what’s the matter over here?

SPECTATOR 1: Chief, that guy’s not even doing anything.

The Chief turns to see Mr. Intangible meticulously roping off the area in front of the flaming house.

MR. INTANGIBLE: Just getting set up over here. All the little things add up you know.

The Chief smiles uncomfortably. His gaze wanders to The Upside Kid, who is trying to operate the nozzle on a hose. He sprays himself in the face.

CHIEF JURNO: Maybe you should call for back up.

PROF. CHEMISTRY: We’re already here.

The Chief turns to see Professor Chemistry, old and wise, motoring over in his wheelchair.

CHIEF JURNO: Professor Chemistry. Boy, are we glad to see you.

PROF. CHEMISTRY: I have all the faith in the world in my Team Players, but this fire is a monster. We need some real power to put it out.

CHIEF JURNO: You mean…

PROF. CHEMISTRY: The Merry Prankster!

The Merry Prankster, wearing a mullet wig and a tuxedo t-shirt, dances over to them. He shaves Professor Chemistry’s eyebrow and shoves a cream pie in the Chief’s face.

MERRY PRANKSTER: Wacka wacka!

PROF. CHEMISTRY: Yes! Yes! That’s just what this danger fighting team needs – a dash of levity. Now get in there and put that fire out.

The Merry Prankster honks his horn as he prances over to the fire.

CHIEF JURNO: Uh, now, don’t get me wrong Professor Chemistry, I would never question your methods, but, uh, don’t you think maybe…?

PROF. CHEMISTRY: What?

The Merry Prankster pulls Mr. Intangible’s pants down. Kid Upside rolls on the ground in laughter.

PROF. CHEMISTRY: Oh, that’s it Prankster. Just what the situation requires – a tablespoon of tomfoolery.

CHIEF JURNO: Professor, the fire. The whole block will be consumed.

PROF. CHEMISTRY: Don’t worry. My Team Players will suck the heat out of that oxidation process.

VOICE: Not if I have anything to say about it.

CHIEF JURNO: Dr. Distraction!

PROF. CHEMISTRY: My arch enemy.

Dr. Distraction stands defiantly across the street. He’s draped in loud clothes and loose women. Malcontent-o, his evil pet, growls by his side.

PROF. CHEMISTRY: You won’t get away with this Distraction.

CHIEF JURNO: Wait a minute. He’s not even doing anything.

Mr. Intangible, Kid Upside and The Merry Prankster stand behind the Professor with steely resolve.

MR. INTANGIBLE: Not anymore he’s not.

The Spectators are confused.

CHIEF JURNO: Guys! What about the fire?

LITTLE OLD LADY: And Mr. Whiskers?

PROF. CHEMISTRY: Fear not. We’ll get past this Distraction. It’s element-ary.

Dr. Distraction cackles at his adversary’s ignorance.

DR. DISTRACTION: That’s what you think. Too bad for you, I brought my prize pupil along.

With effortless grace and strength, I-Guy flies in and lands right next to Dr. Distraction.

MR. INTANGIBLE: I-Guy!

I-Guy shoots lightening bolts from his fingers to the sky in a flashy show of power as the Spectators boo him mercilessly.

MR. INTANGIBLE: Why don’t you just get out of here? There’s no “I” in “Team.”

I-GUY: No. But you can’t spell “win” without it.

PROF. CHEMISTRY: Damn him!

I-Guy shows off some more by effortlessly tossing a car 100 yards up the street.

DR. DISTRACTION: It looks like you’ve lost your formula for success Professor Chemistry.

The Professor clenches his fist in anger. The fire rages on as does the lusty booing of I-Guy.

I-GUY: Wait. Why are they booing me? Look how great I am.

I-Guy snaps his finger over and over. With each snap he goes from invisible to visible and vice versa.

DR. DISTRACTION: Exactly. Who cares what they think? They can’t take their eyes off you.

Professor Chemistry sees his opportunity.

PROF. CHEMISTRY: It would be nice, though, wouldn’t it? To hear them cheer for you?

I-GUY: Yeah, I think I’d like that.

DR. DISTRACTION: No. Don’t listen to him. He’s trying to get you to be a Team Player.

PROF. CHEMISTRY: No. You don’t have to change who you are. Just use your awesome powers when and where they are needed most. Just put that fire out.

I-GUY: That’s it? I can do that. That’s nothing for me.

DR. DISTRACTION: Careful. You’ve been burned before. Remember how much that hurt?

I-Guy is pelted with an empty beer can.

SPECTATOR 1: You suck!

I-GUY: I’m willing to try it again.

With that, I-Guy bolts to the burning house at supersonic speed. He whips up a massive vortex that extinguishes the blaze. Debris flies everywhere. The Spectators hold their breath. And then…

I-Guy, covered in smoke and embers, floats down from the sky with Mr. Whiskers safely in his arms. He has saved the day. The Spectators cheer like they’ve never cheered before.

The Chief runs over to him.

CHIEF JURNO: You did it! You saved the day!

Mr. Intangible walks over and shakes I-Guy’s hand. They exchange respectful smiles.

MR. INTANGIBLE: Good work I-Guy.

CHIEF JURNO: No. He’s not I-Guy anymore. Good work…Captain Clutch.

SPECTATOR 1: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves here.

I-Guy is surprised and disappointed to hear the dissenter. So surprised, that he doesn’t notice his uniform is on fire.

SPECTATOR 2: Yeah, let’s just say he’s hot.

SPECTATOR 1: For now.