By: Patrick Irving
4/11/2008

It’s that time of year when hopeful prospects dream of being drafted by a professional sports franchise and all those other less athletically inclined graduates-to-be prepare to settle for something else.

Let’s see what you would be qualified to do…

PREDICTIVE APTITUDE QUIZ

Match the appropriate Skill with the corresponding Ideal Vocation (answers below).


Skill                                                                      Ideal Vocation

1. Bowling                                                              a. President of the USA

2. Carrying a torch for China                                     b. Olympic Torch Carrier

3. Handling Tiger (particularly in Augusta)                  c. Professional Bowler

4. Sub-prime math skills                                          d. Professional Golfer

5. Sub-prime science skills                                      e. Commissioner of the NBA and/or MLB

6. Free throw shooting                                             f. Zookeeper (particularly in Georgia)

7. Booking trains and hotels                                    g. Special Assistant to Mel Brooks

8. Booking trains and hotels for hookers                   h. Special Assistant to Lou Dobbs

9. Fund-raising and/or Ranching                               i. Special Assistant to John Calipari

10. Developing Nazi-themed orgy ideas                     j. Major Airline President

11. Developing Nazi-themed comedy ideas               k. “Actor”

12. Refusal to learn English                                     l. “Writer”

13. Refusal to learn a language other than English     m. Travel Agent

14. Delaying inspections                                         n. NYC Cab Driver

15. Delaying flights                                                 o. FAA Official

16. Delaying solutions                                             p. Designer (Creative)

17. Dodging unhygienic protesters                            q. Congressman

18. Overlooking sexist membership practices            r. Mortgage-Backed Securities Trader

19. Brewing venti non-fat lattes                                 s. Formula 1 Racing President

20. Drinking venti non-fat lattes                                 t. Governor of NY




ANSWERS: 1(c); 2(e); 3(f); 4(r); 5(p); 6(i); 7(m); 8(t); 9(a); 10(s); 11(g); 12(n); 13(h); 14(o); 15(j); 16(q); 17(b); 18(d); 19(k); 20(l)


How did you do?


# Correct:

            0      Heckuva job Scooter!
         1-5      Heckuva job Brownie!
        6-10      Heckuva job Gonzo!
      11-15      Heckuva job Rummy!
      16-20      You are the Decider!

FADE OUT:

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