MAIN DOCK, AMITY ISLAND – DAY

Crazed tourists run around in a panic. Chief Brody looks on with concern as he takes a long drag off his cigarette. His eyes narrow with anger as he spots the Mayor and Joe sauntering his way.

Joe is fit and tan, and decked out in a Hawaiian shirt. A duffle bag is slung over his shoulder.

BRODY: Hey! Where do you think you’re going?

MAYOR: Chief Brody. Meet Joe Fleeman. He’s going to be conducting our off-shore fireworks display tonight.

BRODY: Are you crazy? We’ve got a man-eater out there!

The Mayor looks around with concern.

MAYOR: Chief. Keep your voice down. We don’t want to alarm anyone.

Out of the swirling chaos, a Screaming Man runs by.

SCREAMING MAN: We’re all gonna die!

BRODY: We can’t have anyone out there in the water. It’s too dangerous.

JOE: I disagree completely. I had the opportunity to speak with a few random people at the bus stop and they see no cause for concern at all.

Duuuh-duh.

Joe reacts as if he might have heard something – maybe two ominous notes from a piano?

BRODY: I don’t care who you talked to. No one is going near that water.

MAYOR: Chief, be reasonable.

BRODY: I am! I only wish you would…

JOE: Chief, I mean, listen – this is real simple. People who like fireworks want to see fireworks. It’s basic math.

BRODY: That’s…nonsensical…and besides, the point is Mr. Fleeman…

JOE: It’s actually pronounced Fly-man.

BRODY: Really?

JOE: Yes. And do you know why? Because I happen to be an expert fly fisherman.

BRODY: What’s that got to do with anything?

JOE: Excuse me, I was once runner up Fly Man of the Year. I think I know my way around a body of water.

BRODY: While that may be impressive, this is hardly a babbling brook and that beast out there is hardly…

JOE: I think I’ll be able to handle myself just fine.

Duuuh-duh.

Joe definitely heard something.

MAYOR: Chief, that’s enough. Now, Joe has been doing this show for years and the people expect to see it. There’s no reason for that to change.

Duuuh-duh.

JOE: Did you hear that?

MAYOR: What?

BRODY: Look, the fireworks are off. It’s time for you to face reality. You’re the mayor of shark city!

MAYOR: That’s right. I’m the mayor.

BRODY: You’re making a huge mistake.

Chief Brody storms off.

MAYOR: Don’t mind him. You just go out there and put on a great show. Amity’s counting on you.

JOE: My pleasure.

Joe walks on down the dock…

Duuuh-duh, Duuuh-duh, Duuuh-duh…

He stops cold and looks around for the source of the music. He takes another step.

Duuuh-duh.

HOOPER: Excuse me.

Joe jumps out of his skin with fright.

JOE: Ah!

He turns to see Hooper, a young, scruffy scientist.

JOE: My goodness.

HOOPER: Sorry to startle you, but, uh, exactly where do you think you’re going?

JOE: I have a show to do.

HOOPER: Oh, no you don’t. We’ve got a rogue out there. You’re not prepared for that.

JOE: See, I don’t think that’s true at all. I had the privilege to sit down with a young man who shared all of his insights on today’s challenge, and I walked away from that meeting with great respect for him.

Hooper is speechless.

JOE: Hey, there he is now.

HOOPER: The kid who won the science fair?

Joe waves to a seven year old Boy.

JOE: Two years in a row. I think I’ve got this covered.

Duuuh-duh.

HOOPER: No, I think you’re going to ignore this problem until it swims up and bites you in the…

JOE: Besides, even if there is something to fear out there, I’m confident I have plenty in my bag of tricks to keep it at bay.

Joe opens his duffle bag and pulls out a handful of bottle rockets.

HOOPER: Bottle rockets? That’s your fireworks display?

JOE: What? They work just fine.

Duuuh-duh.

JOE: You can hear that too, right?

HOOPER: I’m sick of this nonsense. I’m not going to waste my time arguing with a man who's lining up to be a hot lunch.

Duuuh-duh, Duuuh-duh, Duuuh-duh…

Joe covers his ears and runs off with his head down.

JOE: Stop it! Stop it!

Duuuh-duh, Duuuh-duh, Duuuh-duh, Duuuh-duh, DUUH-DUH, Duuh-duh, Duuh-duh, Duuh-duh…

Joe, still scared and running recklessly, lifts his head just as he plows right into the open mouth of a large fish. He screams in terror.

JOE: Nooooo!

Laughter from above fills the air.

Joe gains his composure and sees he has just collided with a freshly caught giant tuna.

QUINT: Don’t worry lass, she won’t bite.

Joe looks up to see Quint, a crusty old sailor, perched on top of his barnacle ridden trawler. He snickers down at Joe through his glass of scotch.

QUINT: Who are ya supposed to be?

JOE: I’m here to put on the fireworks show.

Joe drops his duffle bag into his little tin motorboat.

QUINT: You’re gonna need a bigger boat.

Joe looks up at him with concern.

QUINT: I’m just kiddin’ ya. Who are these people to tell ya your business?

JOE: They’re warning me not to go out there. They say I’m not ready – not as prepared as I need to be. They don’t think my show’s worth saving.

QUINT: They’re just yella. And they think ya should be too. Maybe ya are.

JOE: No. I mean, yes, I’ve faced some challenges before, and, yes, I’ve been hurt…

QUINT: So what. It was never permanent was it? Wanna see something permanent? This is permanent.

He pulls out a false front tooth and laughs maniacally.

JOE: I got that beat. I got that beat.

Joe lifts up his leg displaying a horrible scar.

JOE: My buddy Larry Trailer threw an M-80 at me when we were both on the Fly Derby circuit. Man, could that LT fish!

QUINT: See. Ya got nothin’ to worry about then, do ya?

JOE: No, I guess I don’t…Except….

QUINT: Come on college boy, spit it out.

JOE: Do you ever hear music out there? I mean, in your head. I know that sounds crazy, but…

QUINT: Nah, it isn’t crazy. It’s just the sea callin’ to ya. Don’t be afraid of her. She wouldn’t ever lead ya astray.

JOE: That’s what I thought.

Duuuh-duh.

Joe smiles.

JOE: That’s just what I thought.

Joe gets in his boat and shoves off from the dock.

Quint waves to him with a condescending smile.

Quint (singing): Farewell and adieu to you, fair Spanish ladies. Farewell and adieu, you ladies of Spain. For we've received orders for to sail back to Boston. And so nevermore shall we see you again.

Joe taxies further out to sea. The water is eerily calm.

Duuuh-duh, Duuuh-duh, Duuuh-duh, Duuuh-duh, DUUH-DUH, Duuh-duh, Duuh-duh, Duuh-duh…

JOE: Nothing to worry about Joe. Just the sea telling you how good you are.

Duuuh-duh, Duuuh-duh, Duuuh-duh, Duuuh-duh, DUUH-DUH, Duuh-duh, Duuh-duh, Duuh-duh, Duuh-duh, DUUH-DUH, Duuh-duh, Duuh-duh, Duuh-duh, wa-wa-wa-waah, DUUH-DUH, Duuh-duh, Duuh-duh…

JOE: Aaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!