OFFICIAL SCRIPTED SPORTS NCAA TOURNAMENT PICKS

Roy Williams, Bruce Pearl and Rick Pitino walk into a bar…

And the Bartender says, “What’ll it be gents?”

“Welllllll,” Ol’ Roy wonders in his Southern drawl. You know I’m all about that wholesome North Carolina way. Make it a tall glass of milk.

The Bartender obliges and turns to Pearl.

“Oh man!” exclaims the excitable Volunteer coach, “you know my peeps in Knoxville would expect me to have only the finest Tennessee whiskey, so hook me up with a shot of Jack Daniels.”

“Oh, Bruce you are incorrigible,” chuckles Ol’ Roy as the two coaches pat each other on the back.

“Hey, what are you having Rick?” Pearl asks. “Rick?”

“Oh, I just saw him peel out of the parking lot,” says the Bartender.

“He took our ride?”

LOUISVILLE WINS THE EAST




Why did the Jayhawk cross the road?
To get on the bus home after getting upset in the Sweet 16


What’s black and white and read all over?
The Georgetown playbook.

WISCONSIN WINS THE MIDWEST




Knock knock

Who’s there?

UCONN

UCONN who?

U Con’t win them all – and neither can Duke

UCLA WINS THE WEST




Memphis gets no respect, no respect at all I tells ya…

The Doctor told them they couldn’t win because they come from such a weak conference…They asked for a second opinion…The Doctor said, “Okay, you can’t make your free throws either.”

No respect at all…but still…

MEMPHIS WINS THE SOUTH




And in the Final Four…

A big shot Movie Director reviews his instructions with his beautiful Assistant outside his trailer.

“Let’s go over this one more time. If I stick my soda bottle out the window…” quizzed the Director.

“You want some soda,” giggled the Assistant.

“And if I stick my cheese plate out the window…”

“You want some cheese.”

“And if I stick my head out the window…”

“You see LA?”

Exactly.

UCLA WINS IT ALL