OFFICE BREAK ROOM, WASHINGTON, DC – DAY

Four ordinary office workers, Hillary, Rudy, John and, uh, Barry, sit around a table in the break room eating lunch and comparing their tournament brackets.

And, let’s see, yes, there is more than one “John” in this office (like most offices), so, in case you were wondering, this is the John who plans to retire in Scottsdale some day (soon).

HILLARY: So, do you think you’ve got a shot at the title?

RUDY: Oh please, like you’re the favorite to win.

HILLARY: I’ve had my fair share of the big prize money.

JOHN: Yeah, when your husband won it.

Barry chokes on his soda.

HILLARY: At least I’ve got experience. You need it to know how to pick the upsets. That’s how you separate from the pack.

BARRY: Psh, I know that. I’ve got Gonzaga.

RUDY: Upsetting Indiana?

BARRY: Winning the whole West Region.

HILLARY: Are you nuts? Heytvelt’s still off the team because of the drug suspension.

BARRY: That doesn’t bother me.

JOHN: I bet it doesn’t maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan.

RUDY: I don’t care who the Bulldogs have on the floor. Duke is the sleeper in the West.

BARRY: Duke?! They’re just getting by on reputation.

RUDY: Hey pot, this is the kettle…

BARRY: Watch it!

HILLARY: You can argue all you want, but Illinois is gonna storm through the West.

RUDY: Oh, here we go.

BARRY: Come on Hil, I mean, I’m a fan too, but they’re just not…

HILLARY: I’ve been a fan longer!

BARRY: Since when?

HILLARY: Since they’re my favorite team ever!

JOHN: I don’t care who you babies WANT to win the West. Phog Allen and his Kansas Jayhawks are gonna take care of business.

The other three try to suppress embarrassed smiles.

RUDY: Oh, yeah, so, uh, you like the favorite out there do ya John?

JOHN: I like all the favorites. They earned those seeds and I respect and support them.

BARRY: So you’ve got Ohio State coming out of the South?

JOHN: You bet sonny.

RUDY: Man, they’ve got a great coach. Who is it again?

JOHN: Oh, come on! Everyone worth his salt knows Tippy Dye.

Barry and Rudy are giggling.

BARRY: Right.

Hillary smacks him in the arm.

HILLARY: Lets’ get back to the other teams in the South Region.

A random co-worker, Al, strolls in and pokes around in the refrigerator.

AL: Hey y’all, did I hear talk about the South? Look out for those Tennessee Volunteers. Bruce Pearl’s a genius in March.

HILLARY: You said you weren’t gonna be in this year’s pool!

AL: I’m just taking an interest.

Al winks at Hillary. She shakes her head in disbelief.

JOHN: Hey Al, do you own stock in the power company?

AL: Certainly not.

John nods his head at the still open refrigerator door. The rest of the table bursts into laughter. Al slams the door shut and storms off.

BARRY: Alright, seriously, I think…

Al returns in a huff, opens the fridge, grabs a pudding cup and storms out again.

AL: Good day!

BARRY: As I was saying, Penn is gonna make some serious noise in the South. They must be good if they were champions of a league filled with competitive and successful Ivy Leaguers. Right? Did I mention that I have a degree from Columbia?

RUDY: Unbelievable.

BARRY: And Harvard.

JOHN: Big whoop. So does the pudding monster.

Another random co-worker…uh, Mitthew…er…Mittsey…I mean…ah, screw it…
Mitt enters.

MITT: John, were you pickin’ on Allie again?

John has dozed off. The rest of the table just shrugs.

MITT: You guys should take it easy on Al. He’s gonna be bummed out enough during the Regional Semis when his Vols get beat down by my boys at the Big Y U. Holla!

Hillary rolls her eyes.

MITT: Hey, at least I actually went there. The Cougars are due, chumps. Mark it down.

Mitt’s Secretary pops her head in.

MITT’S SECRETARY: Excuse me, Mitt, you have a phone call.

MITT: Who is it?

MITT’S SECREATARY: Your wife.

MITT: I need more.

Mitt’s Secretary rolls her eyes and walks out as Mitt giggles with delight.

RUDY: Oh sure, it’s funny when you say it.

MITT: Yeah, that’s right.

BARRY: I feel that.

HILLARY: Oh, brother.

BARRY: And don’t you forget it.

Mitt slaps Barry with a high five as he exits.

MITT (to Hillary): Seriously, though, tell Bill to quit pestering me with bigamy questions. It’s getting old.

HILLARY: Oh, he’s just kidding around.

Rudy silently mouths to Barry, “No, he isn’t.” Barry giggles.

HILLARY: That guy doesn’t know anything. Psh, BYU’s not going anywhere. My other favorite team, Albany, is going to pull off a Cinderella run in the South.

BARRY: You’ve got to be kidding me! I suppose you have Georgetown winning the East.

Hillary looks a little nervous.

HILLARY: No. George Washington. They’re my other, other favorite team. Why?

Barry is loving this.

BARRY: I mean, yeah, they’re both DC teams, but you know, the Hoyas have a lot more potential. And a much larger following.

HILLARY: Huh. Interesting.

Hillary not so discreetly amends her bracket as…

Dennis from the mail room pops his head in.

DENNIS: Hey!

John jolts awake.

DENNIS: You should pick the Iona Gaels. Everyone loves a longshot.

JOHN: Come on Dennis, they’re not even in it.

RUDY: They were never in it! They started the season 0 and 22.

DENNIS: Yeah, but…

HILLARY: Just go Dennis.

DENNIS: Fine. I’ll go. But me and the Gaels will keep working. And we’ll keep pushing and we’ll keep trying and…

John stands up menacingly.

DENNIS: Okay, bye!

Dennis runs out.

JOHN: Damn fool. Everyone knows that whippersnapper Dean Smith will have those top seeded Tar Heels winning the East.

RUDY: UNC won’t even get to the Sweet 16. Michigan State will knock them off on their way to Atlanta.

HILLARY: Wait a minute. Duke? Michigan State? Are you going with the Final Four from 2001 again?

RUDY: Most of it…why, is it that obvious?

They all awkwardly scratch their heads as Rudy makes an adjustment on his sheet.

BARRY: So, it looks like we’ve all got our own crazy ideas for the early rounds.

JOHN: That’s how it always goes.

BARRY: Alright, well, I may be inexperienced, but, I looked at the points system for this pool, and it seems like, well, at the end of the day, all that stuff won’t matter nearly as much as actually picking the Champion.

JOHN: The key to winning is winning.

BARRY: So, where are you putting your money?

HILLARY: Same place as you.

RUDY: Same place as all of us.

ALL: Florida!